Confident Life

Quotes from men and women on being single and getting older,

‘When a childless woman turns 40 it’s as though she has a huge neon sign above her head which flashes ‘LAST DAYS FOR BABIES! LAST DAYS FOR BABIES!’ in giant lettering above her head. The rest of the world is full of unhelpful advice: there’s so much more to life, have one on your own, you’ve still got lots of time, doctors can do wonderful things these days…’

                                                                                                Dillie Keane

 ‘Single women are frightening. If you get to 41 as a single man, you’re quite battle-scarred.’

Hugh Grant

‘After thriving for years in my role as a prolific seducer of women, I finally received a wake-up call and a summoning to the next chapter in my life. It all happened when I experienced a pang of envy seeing my friends dancing with their kids at a wedding. In that thunderbolt moment, as I shot my champagne on the sidelines, I wanted more than anything to be married. I wanted a family of my own, I wanted to belong, to protect and to be loved.’                                                        Andrew, 40

 ‘Everything was going great until I said, ‘I love you,’ then he got this look on his face like he’d taken a wrong turn in a really bad neighbourhood.’ 

Roz Doyle, Frasier, Paramount Television

‘OK, I want to know the man for a year before I get engaged, another six months before I get married. Then, after a year, we have our first baby, then two years later we have another one… so, by then I’ll be… Good God, I need to meet my husband tonight!’  Monica, Friends, Warner Bros

‘There has been a long tradition of ‘walkers’ for single ladies of a certain age. A walker is gossipy and good-looking. He flatters, protects and possesses impeccable manners. He is a true gentleman and represents the perfect foil for female insecurity. I have walkers who step beside me when I need to display ‘my other half’ at corporate events and dinners. In this accepting society in which we exist, no one bats an eyelid if you are accompanied by your gay lover or a toy boy or someone else’s husband, but God forbid that you should attend an event as a single person! In my particular industry that would not do at all, so Stuart (who happens to be discretely gay) is displayed as my partner, and I reciprocate for him. Harry is my reserve for when Stuart isn’t available. We look good together. There are no obligations, complications or sex. And in the whispers and rumours circulating by the office water cooler my single status is completely overlooked.

                                                                                                Simone, 42

‘After my first date with Samantha, I texted her saying that I’d enjoyed the evening and would she like to meet up again. She texted back, ‘I liked meeting U2, but b4 we arrange anything else, can U let me no where U stand with regards to C?’ I texted back, ‘What is C?’  Instantly she responded one word – COMMITMENT. And these women wonder why men run a mile!’                                                             Andy, 36

‘In the rarefied upper reaches of high-altitude careers where the air is thin, men have a much easier time finding oxygen. They find this in the form of younger, less driven women who will coddle their egos. The hard fact is that most successful men are not interested in acquiring an ambitious peer as a partner.’

Dr Sylvia Ann Hewlett

‘I wasted years of my life dating the wrong kind of men, with each ephemeral relationship crashing and burning. I found it impossible to achieve permanency in a relationship so in my mid-thirties I made a conscious decision to be single. When I wasn’t looking for love, at the age of 37 it found me. Sean was the exact opposite of all the guys I’d dated before. Over time I have discovered so many things I didn’t know I wanted or needed from another person.’                                     Roberta, 41

‘Singleness is a state of mind. If we are not happy being single, we view it like a perpetual horizon, stretching away into the distance with no end in sight. Our future becomes distorted and we see demons of our own conjuring, taunting us with feelings of loneliness and isolation. It takes a superhuman effort to eradicate this mindset. If you can do it, then you attract good, positive things.’

Andrea, 39

‘You know when you walk through the Nothing to Declare section at the airport, you feel guilty, even though you’re innocent? In the same way when you reach 40 and you are still single, you just look and feel desperate, even if you’re not.’ 

Carol, 40

‘Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.’

Mark Twain

‘When I was 25 I met Louisa, who was perfect to me in every way. I should have married her, but I considered myself too young. I let her go and heard that she married someone else. Although I have matured and am still the same person inside, I have never met another Louisa. Maybe I should stop making comparisons and carrying a torch for someone from my past, but no woman I meet ever comes close.’ 

Spencer, 39

‘Single is a state of mind with which I am happy. Although I don’t live with anyone, I have such a busy life that I can’t actually dwell on the fact that I am single. If I met someone tomorrow, I really don’t know how I would integrate him into my life. I just couldn’t fit him in, so to speak.’                                        

Miriam, 40

‘I don’t need a permanent woman in my life. If I want sex or to have something cleaned, cooked, organised, designed, written or repaired, I pay someone else to do it for me. My life is cool, uncomplicated and angst-free.’ 

Mark, 43

‘As women glide from their twenties to thirties… the balance of power subtly shifts. Even the most outrageous minxes lose their nerve, wrestling with the first twinges of existential angst: fear of dying alone and being found three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.’

From Bridget Jones Diary by Helen Fielding, Picador, 2001

‘I fall in love real quick, which can scare guys away. I’m like, ‘I love you, I want to move in with you, I want to marry you.’ And they’re like, ‘Ma’am, just give me the ten bucks for the pizza and I’ll be out of here.’

Penny Wiggins

‘I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think there’s something wrong with me.’

                                                                                                Elayne Boosler

‘Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever.’

Helen Rowland

  

‘Odds on meeting a single man: 1 in 23; a cute, single man: 1 in 529; a cute, single, smart man, 1 in 3,245,873; when you look your best, 1 in a billion.’

Lorna Adler

 ‘If he hasn’t called you in about three weeks and you have no idea where he is, the chances are he’s not in an emergency room moaning your name.’

Diane Conway

 ‘I waited for the phone to ring, and when at last it didn’t, I knew it was you.’

Karen Muir

 ‘If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, great! If they don’t, they’re probably having dinner with someone more attractive than you.’

Bill Greiser